Tisha B’Av: The 3 Weeks of Sorrow
When
Tisha B’Av is the final, climactic day of a three week period of sorrow and mourning, typically covering a large portion of July, occasionally bleeding into June on the front end or August on the back end.
Scriptural Reference
“Now the people of Bethel had sent Sharezer and Regemelech and and their men to entreat the favor of the Lord, saying to the priests of the house of the Lord of hosts and the prophets, ‘Should I weep and abstain in the fifth month, as I have done for so many years?’
“Then the word of the Lord of hosts came to me; ‘Say to all the people of the land and the priests, When you fasted and mourned in the fifth month and in the seventh, for these seventy years, was it for me that you fasted? And when you eat and when you drink, do you not eat for yourselves and drink for yourselves? Were not these the words that the Lord proclaimed by the former prophets, when Jerusalem was inhabited and prosperous, with her cities around her, and the South and the lowland were inhabited’?” (Zechariah 7:2-7)
History
Tisha B’Av and the 3 Weeks are not explicitly named or instituted in the Scriptures, but passages like the one just referenced in Zechariah allude to its practice, seeing as the “fifth month” mentioned was the month of Av. The Jewish people “fasted and mourned” during this season as a ritual practice for “seventy years” of exile - following the destruction of the temple - which aligns with the establishment and observance of this feast day.
To offer a little context, around 1000BC King David had made Jerusalem the capital city of God’s people. In succession, his son, King Solomon, focused his leadership agenda on building the first Temple. He was meticulous and unsparing in his construction of the set apart space believed to be a kind of holy portal or dwelling for Elohim. But king after king, injustice and idolatry permeated the hearts of God’s people. Even when they fulfilled laws and customs, they were but empty forms, missing the point of living embodied righteousness and benevolence. Prophets like Jeremiah were ignored, often scorned, threatened, and imprisoned at the bids of truth-telling and calls for repentance. Sin had been given rulership throughout the kingdom, and where sin rules, ruin soon follows.
In ~586BC, King Nebuchadnezzar and his legions of ruthless Babylonian warriors ransacked Jerusalem, destroying the holy Temple and city walls, overthrowing much of Israel, and herding scores of Jews into captivity. The spiritual nucleus of the city was reduced to rubble and the tragedy of many decades of exile was now upon God’s chosen people.
But, while what took place to the Jews was truly a devastation, the practice of Tisha B’Av has seemingly grown a heavier emphasis around lamenting the wickedness that was internally eroding the hearts of God’s set apart nation.
In the centuries that followed, a second Temple would be built then destroyed again, and Tisha B’Av would come to graft in the grief and narrative of this fallen second Temple as well. And on the story would go, as power would be taken then lost between Empires and the Temple never to be reconstructed again.
Purpose
The 3 Weeks of Sorrow crescendoing into Tisha B’Av are days of sadness and mourning. The Temple was a kind of touching point between heaven and earth, and it was gone. The city walls represented a location for spiritual identity and homeland, and they too were gone. This nearly month-long period is set aside to enter into embodied grief - to go beyond a cognitive recollection of a distant past into a present connection with the implications of the events that took place. This kind of practice restores bridges to personal involvement in history and spiritual ancestry, even as it surfaces the dread of ruptured relationship with God and man.
It is for this reason that this holiday calls for a pause on certain activities. To that end, many orthodox Jews do not: cut their hair or shave during this time; play instruments or listen to music; have wedding ceremonies; buy or wear new clothing; eat certain fruits or other sweet foods; pray blessings of praise and rejoicing. Likewise, on the actual day of Tisha B’Av, many will also refrain from eating, bathing, having sex, and working. These, among many other activities, are emblematic of liveliness and vitality, and to fast from them is to choose a tangible - even corporeal - experience of loss.
But this season isn’t solely about external loss. Time after time, Adonai - directly and through the prophets - contended with his people, imploring them to repent and remember Him, to do justly and walk in mercy and choose an alternative path to that of the intoxicating and power-mongering ways of Empire. Finally, God’s people reached a tipping point; they were to enter into physical captivity in the same way they remained bound to sinfulness.
Tisha B’Av is an opportunity for repentance - to counter the sin and iniquity of biological and spiritual generations past, and simultaneously confess one’s own wrongdoing and hatred, complicity and complacency, arrogance and injustice. As it says in the Psalms, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).
As Tisha B’Av stirs up both the hopeful longing for the restoration of the Temple, as well as the agony of hope deferred, this holiday is transformed into an opportunity for individual and collective restoration through the sacrifice of “a broken spirit.”
Fulfillment
There is a lot to be said about Jerusalem and the holy Temple, most of which extends far beyond the confines of this short book. What I will say is Messiah Yeshua - God incarnate - is the king over his eternal kingdom and the closest nearness of God with us (”Emmanuel”). In his own words, he shared: “I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless.” (Matthew 12:6-7)
In another interaction, Yeshua’s seemingly cryptic terms also fall on deaf ears:
“So the Jews said to him, ‘What sign do you show us for doing these things?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.’ The Jews then said, ‘It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will you raise it up in three days?’ But he was speaking about the temple of his body. When therefore he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this, and they believed the Scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken.” (John 2:18-22)
Messiah Yeshua is our ultimate Temple. In Him, our offering as a people is walking in his ways, believing his truths, and abiding in his life. We lay down our entirety - our goodness and our sin - as a sacrifice, embracing the wholeness brought upon us through the indwelling presence of Holy Spirit. And who are we then as his people? The answer: Christ’s bride and body, the Church.
There’s something profound about naming this collective identity, expressed beautifully by Luke the historian: “The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” (Acts 17:24-25)
It’s not about a building - brick and mortar edifices - because God has never had need of such things. The heart of Adonai is closeness to his people, and He has shown this to us over and over and over again, from Torah, to Temple, to Incarnation, to Pentecost. Christ was the firstborn among a new creation, with a new covenant, making him also the firstborn among the temples. We the church - as His set apart family and people - are God’s holy temple.
As Paul puts it: “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?” to which he continues: “For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). Adonai’s presence cannot get any closer to us than wholly taking up residence within us.
Likewise, it is not only God’s presence in us - as Temple and Church - but also his governance that we long for. Just as our spiritual ancestors before us - who “acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth” and who “desire[d] a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:13, 16) - we too must name that “our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20) and that Christ’s “kingdom is not of this world.” (John 18:36)
Throughout these mournful weeks leading into Tisha B’Av, it is a time to grieve and repent of all that comes with knowing we as the Temple of God have welcomed other gods to take up space in us, and that we have rejected Rabbi Yeshua as our king by seeking manmade governments and systems of injustice and power.
We must pause and reflect on our communal narrative that consists of disobedience and iniquity, being curious about its origins and exploring what it might look like to let Holy Spirit renew and transform us in body, soul, and spirit. Just as the ancient Israelites watched the Temple fall while being exiled from their city, we are confronted with the ruptures that exist in our relationship with God and one another, our environment and ourselves.
Let us find ourselves weeping with Christ, repenting as he calls us to, recalling the stories of our brokenness, and lean into hopeful imagination for redemption.
Needs for Tisha B’Av:
Candles
Simple Meal for Friday night (a common plate might consist of a piece of bread and hard-boiled egg dipped in ashes to symbolize mourning)
A bowl or basin of water and hand towels per person on Saturday night
Modern Liturgical Adaptation
Opening Evening at Sundown
Night of Lament
Keep the lights dim or only use candles throughout the evening
Matriarch, or Household Leader (lights the candle(s) at sundown):
Blessed are you O Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who is the light that shines in the darkness, for even the darkness is not dark to you.
(Blow out the candle(s) immediately)
Leader:
As we enter into the shadows and ruins, let us posture ourselves in sorrow and grief.
(Pause & invite those who are able to kneel or late prostrate)
Tonight, we acknowledge the darkness, at work around us and perpetuated through us.
Lord, we have made for ourselves our own nations, rather than rendering our citizenship to your kingdom of justice and mercy.
We have not loved the poor and marginalized, the naked and hungry, the sojourner and fatherless, the elderly and the widowed, the incarcerated and the prostituted.
We have not seen you in our neighbor, nor have we sought to love our enemy as our friend.
In our succumbing to mammon and idols, power and perceptions, shame and deceptions, we have created narratives for ourselves that fail to display your goodness, beauty, and truth.
Adonai, we are devastated at the destruction of your Temple, and that we ourselves have failed to walk in the holiness of your Temple.
We confess that we have loved our institutions more than your kingdom, and our politics more than your prophecies.
And in the same breath, we also lament that the world too has hated you - that even when your children walk in the light, how often darkness seeks to stifle your flame.
How painful it is to sit and watch and wait,
To see suffering - to experience suffering - to cause suffering!
Where, O Lord, is Zion to be found?
Where is your city of shalom?
Where is your deliverance into the Land of Milk and Honey?
Where are the open spaces and the oaks planted by streams of living water?
In ashes, O Lord, we come before you.
From the depths of sadness we present our dirge.
A broken cry and a contrite heart surely you will not deny.
Search us and know us, Adonai, as we enter into this fast of Tisha B’Av.
[Meal Prayer]
Leader:
Blessed are you, Adonai our God, King of the Universe. Even in our unfaithfulness, you are faithful. You are our provider and sustainer. Amen.
(Invite everyone to make their plates)
[Separation Dinner]
(If possible, eat the meal in silence while sitting on the floor. Focus your attention on the simplicity of the meal - feeling the texture and tasting the flavor of each bite.)
[Time of Lament]
(As people come to the end of their dinner, gather everyone back together.)
Leader:
Tonight, we read the Book of Lamentations together.
The practice of lament is meant to be communal, and writings in this book reflect the profound distance felt by God’s people.
Let us be moved by each word and propelled deeper into the heart of Christ, the Man of Sorrows.
[Read Lamentations]
(Let a different person read each of the 5 chapters. At the end of each chapter, pause for a short time to share any reflections or laments)
Morning
Start your day with Lectio Divina prayer as you read through either Deuteronomy 4:25-40 or Jeremiah 8:13-9:23.
After concluding your prayer time, if you haven’t already, take a moment to choose your activities for the day (see list of activities on the next page).
In addition, as you go into the day, practice abstaining from certain normal rituals. For instance, it is common for Jews to not: shower, brush teeth, wear shoes, do significant work, wear their Tallit and Tefillin, and so on.
Allow your day to release acts of vivacity for the sake of experiencing the grief and darkness of the valley.
Afternoon
Be present with the sadness and grief of the day. Engage in your selected activities.
Some additional ones to consider:
Preparing food for dinner in anticipation of breaking your fast
Washing the floors and cleaning the house as preparation for redemption
Removing clutter and collecting unnecessary belongings that can be given away
Reading Exodus 32:11-14, 34:1-10 and Isaiah 55:6-56:8
Closing Evening at Sundown
Matriarch, or Household Leader (lights the candle(s) at sundown):
Blessed are you O Lord, our God, King of the Universe. Your light is ever faithful in penetrating the darkness and restoring us, your children and chosen Temple, to new life. Renew our spirits and bodies as we break this fast tonight.
(Have each person take out their own bowl or basin of water)
Leader:
Before we take part in this meal, let us wash our hands in ritual Netilat Yadayim.
Let each person immerse both hands in the water before you and hold them there.
Take some time in silence to feel the water - the temperature and texture - and picture Elohim using this water to cleanse and purify you of the dust and ashes of sin and death.
(Pause until all have taken their hands out of the water)
Amen.
[Dinner]
Possible Discussion Questions During Dinner
What was it like to fast from food or other enjoyable or hygienic activities?
Is it difficult for you to talk about past or present forms of injustice, idolatry, and sin, both individually or communally?
Where did you see God in the midst of Tisha B’Av? Where didn’t you see God?
How might lament be a practice of communal restoration for you today?
What does it mean to you that Scripture calls God’s people a holy temple?
Pick one to three activities from the following list to enter into the spirit of Tisha B’Av:
Identify something that you love or enjoy and consider fasting from it - for a day, week, or even the whole 3 weeks
Spend the day barefoot
Abstain from some form of hygiene for 24 hours (a shower, brushing your teeth, makeup, etc.)
Pull out pictures of deceased family, friends, and loved-ones
Create a timeline of the history of the church, your family, or your national/ ethnic people group and recall parts of the story that failed to represent devotion to God’s love and justice
Spend time learning about a people group that is being oppressed (even by a Christian community or nation)
Make a fire and collect the ashes once the fire has gone and the embers have cooled
Read a book about grief, lament, or sorrow (One highly recommended book would be “Prophetic Lament” by Soong-Chan Rah)
Write or share a poem, elegy, or song of lament
Spend time allowing yourself to cry
Do an art project using only black and gray instruments (charcoal, pencil, watercolors, etc.). Create a piece reflecting on an image of grief that God has put on your heart.